3 days past New Year's Day. I'm still thinking things through. I don't know if 2009 was a good year or not, but some things happened, and although they may not seem fancy and exactly fun all at once, I have to say they brought up a a little something. The whole of last year, I gotta say, was filled with me working real hard. I got a job in an environment that happens to always has so much space for me to grow. Although a little hesitating at most times, I took those opportunities and without really realizing it, I grew, I learned, and I sort of leaped. My mentors and directors are the kind that always encourage us the youngsters to work damn hard and not afraid to miss out all the fun of 20s to make sure we build good working carrier and character. At the beginning I took it. But towards the end of last year, I thought through it and I counted, I calculated, if it all was worth it. I missed out a lot of fun last year. I missed out many of possible new friendships and relationships and I missed out a whole ton of laughter. Again, different people have different principles in life. It's totally good and agreeable that we have to work hard, no doubt. It's great for young people, young women to have a strong perspective on building a great carrier and such things. But the again, there's always balance to everything. I was so close to jump into the deep trench my colleagues and mentors fell into, the dark life of spending 14 hrs a day, 6 days a week doing work. I mean, come on, it's ridiculous that we spend thrice more time with co-workers that with the people we actually care about! It really doesn't make sense that we work so hard for money we can't even hold on to forever. It's bad enough that it becomes so hard to make time for family and friends, it's even harder to make time for god. Non-sense, right? What I really wanna do this coming year is to practice good time management, and to make the right decision to let go of something that I shouldn't hold on to. It does feel like bad drugs to me. Everytime I wanna take a step away, it keeps sucking back in with all the bonus and raises and stuff. And then I'm good for awhile, and soon I'm back where I'm hurting again. I plan to round up my decision by February, so.

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i've had ugly experiences with wallpaper samples at the office. they're pretty, alright, but they come in huge binding with super thick covers, they're freakishly heavy. one time, about 3 weeks ago, i was taking a pile of wallpaper and curtain sample books from the top shelf about 190 cm from the floor (don't ask me how they got to the top shelf), i didn't know there was this one more wallpaper sample book on top of the rest, so it's corner landed on my left eye. shit. shit. yes shit. hurt like a homo. then about 5 hrs later, another sets of wallpaper samples were at the lower shelf, i was about to take out of them, another one fell down when i opened the cabinet door right onto my stomach. shit. shit. yes shit again. yesterday, the same ugly overweight humungous wallpaper sample book fell down and hit my right foot. it still hurts. dammit. i have the worst luck with wallpapers. tomorrow, i'm set to sit down with visual department and choose a set for a an ongoing ktv project, i pray hard that no more wallpaper incident is gonna happen.

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remember this song from when we were still in primary 5? so little time by arkarna? i'm listening to it. just for a quick update, we have lots of projects coming up, some to reach a contract deal, some are starting for production around this or early next week. the bosses are rushing me like mad dogs, and i'm not yet rushing my team like mad dog. that's something to learn from the people who work above. anyway the song goes like this: so little time so much to do, i'd rather spend my days with you. so little time so much to do, i'd like to spend one day with you. and if that day is not enough, maybe we can stay in touch. but i'm not making plans for tomorrow, for tomorrow, never comes. this is what's suitable for now. or maybe has been suitable for the past few months.

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i haven't been blogging for ages and i gotta admit, i actually missed it. typing unimportant crap and things i wish to have and immature complaints and moans. i actually still do complain alot in real life so might as well just dump it out in here :)

i deleted 2 of recent entries because one, it had too many pictures on it, and not so good ones. two, it was the blog about meeting angels and airwaves, awesome day, i copied it from my facebook note entry, the whole thing went fcked up cos the font came out different. it ruined the whole layout and with this new blogskin, that post would just hurt your eyes. i'll figure out a way how to put it back in here in good shape cos i do like that post :)

meanwhile, i'm gonna head to bed soon, i have work tomorrow, there'll be an important meeting, and i do have homework but can't be bothered to do it. i'll just do it tomorrow. i'm gonna re-read sophie kinsella's undomestic goddess. good book. good book. nighty night!

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i have decided that i want to continue writing blogs on my modlife site, maybe just for awhile, but i don't know till when. so from now on till further notice, go to www.modlife.com/pam and click on the tab "blog" to read my blogs. i don't know if you can view my blog if you're not a member. but it's really not that hard to make an account. just make up a username and a password and give them your email address and voila, there you have it, a modsite for yourself and also you can read my blog.

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